The way you start your morning sets the tone for the rest of the day. If you have an excellent start to the day, you’ll be in the perfect mood for the adventures and challenges ahead. However, if you have to sluggishly drag yourself out of bed in the morning, it’s quite likely that the mental clumsiness will prevent you from seizing the day’s opportunities. Getting yourself into an energized and motivated state of mind in the morning can have a profound impact on your life. What better way could there be than to start your morning with a couple of really funny good morning quotes? The following quotes will not only give you a good laugh but will also help you to start your day the right way.
Isn’t the power of having an uplifting morning ritual astonishing? If you’re able to jump out of bed, feeling energized and motivated, it’s likely that you’ll be a lot more productive throughout the day.
“Dracula is a morning person compared to me.”
At the same time, if you’re having a bad start to the day, it feels as if you’re rushing through the day without ever getting anything done. Even worse, you’ll be a lot less productive because you’re simply not able to focus on one task at a time.
If you’re struggling to get up in the morning, with the following funny good morning quotes you’ll at least have something to laugh about.
However, establishing a powerful morning ritual that gets you excited for the upcoming day can be quite difficult. If anything else fails, funny good morning quotes can make a huge difference.
50 Funny Good Morning Quotes
Especially when you’re an early riser, it can make quite a difference if you have something funny and energizing to look forward to. Your morning ritual helps you to tap into the vast power of mornings to increase your performance and productivity throughout the day. If you’re looking for something that gets you going in the morning, have a look at funny good morning quotes. These brilliant and funny statements will help you to make the most of your day.
Here are these funny good morning quotes:
“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.”
“I want to live my life in such a way that when I get out of bed in the morning, the devil says, “aw s***, he’s up!”
“There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.”
“What irritates me most of all about these morning people is their horribly good temper, as if they have been up for three hours and already conquered France.”
“When reality and your dreams collide, typically it’s just your alarm clock going off.”
“Every single day I wake up and make up my mind that I am going to work really hard. Then my mind laughs at me and says “Good joke”. Then we laugh for some more time and I go back to bed.”
“So far as I know, anything worth hearing is not usually uttered at seven o’clock in the morning; and if it is, it will generally be repeated at a more reasonable hour for a larger and more wakeful audience.”
“I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.”
“It sounds plausible enough tonight, but wait until tomorrow. Wait for the common sense of the morning.”
“She says you’re not awake until you’re actually out of bed and standing up.”
“Some mornings I just feel like breaking the damn alarm but then one thing always stops me. I paid hundreds of dollars to buy my phone.”
“Twinkle twinkle sleepy star, wake up now it’s the 11th hour, up above the world so high, the sun has risen in the sky.”
“Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.”
“Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one… only if morning began after noon.”
“I have always disliked the morning, it is too responsible a time, with the daylight demanding that it be ‘faced’ and (usually when I wake for I wake late) with the sun already up and in charge of the world, with little hope of anyone usurping or challenging its authority. A shot of light in the face of a poor waking human being and another slave limbs wounded into the light-occupied territory.”
“I woke up in the morning; lay in my bed waiting until my mom will prepare the breakfast. And suddenly I remember that I’m the mom.”
“Morning is an important time of day because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.”
“Love is blind. Especially in the morning, because I can’t see a damn thing before having coffee.”
“It’s a gray morning. A roll-over-and-snuggle-deeper-in-the-covers morning.”
“Luckily, today has been cancelled. Go back to bed.”
“Men all do about the same thing when they wake up.”
“Lena’s hair was sticking out in about fifteen directions, and her eyes were all small and puffy from crying. So this was what girls looked like in the morning. I had never seen one, not up close.”
“Sunrise is starting to feel like a guilt trip.”
“One of the few times in a man’s life when he is not full of s***? The morning of a colonoscopy. Enough said!”
“I wish I had a brush that could paint the whole sky and turn every morning into night.”
“Morning will come, it has no choice.”
“I need to get up – my coffee needs me.”
“In the morning I woke like a sloth in the fog.”
“Morning not only forgives, it forgets.”
“A morning coffee is my favorite way of starting the day, settling the nerves so that they don’t later fray.”
“Some people wake up fast. Some people wake up slow. I wake up dead.”
“There is nowhere morning does not go.”
Leah Hager Cohen
“You knows dat in New Orleans is not morning ’til dee sun come up.”
“It is only in the morning that one should marry, read unfavorable reviews, make one’s will, beat one’s servants, and so forth.”
“I have suggested to several of these eight-hour logicians that they ought to start work at ten o’clock at night, thereby allowing them to leave at six in the morning and perhaps even arrive home before it is time to get up. Some even took this for a serious suggestion. In my opinion, only bakers need to work early in the morning.”
“I feel as though whenever I create something, my Mr. Hyde wakes up in the middle of the night and starts thrashing it. I sometimes love it the next morning, but other times it is an abomination.”
“Life kisses our faces every morning. Yet, between morning and evening, she laughs at our sorrows.”
“I yawned and stretched luxuriously in the morning. I make noises when I stretch because it feels ten times better than stretching silently.”
“There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, ‘Good morning, God,’ and the other is to say, ‘Good God, morning’!”
Fulton J. Sheen
“The doctor has a new suggestion for you this morning. Laugh a little more in the morning for breakfast, give a beautiful smile in the afternoon. Stay far happier for dinner. What is the doctor’s fee? Think more about me.”
“A person who has not done one-half his day’s work by ten o’clock, runs a chance of leaving the other half undone.”
“I am not a morning person.”
Laurell K. Hamilton
“Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o’clocks in one day.”
“Some people wake up fast. Some people wake up slow. I wake up dead.”
“Mornings are like almost clean slates. I say almost clean because the residue of yesterdays is sometimes stuck on them.”
“I hate early mornings. But I love waking up with you.”
Sade Andria Zabala
“Let the morning keep what belongs to the morning.”
“It feels like the mornings clap their hands. To make me wake.”
“Don’t make me kill you at this hour in the morning Jimmy. It’s not civilized.”
“It’s morning time already and it’s time to widen those teeny tiny eyes. Stretch those tough buff arms, wiggle that silky slinky hair and eat some salty malty fries.”
I hope you enjoyed reading this collection of funny good morning quotes.
40 Funny Good Morning Quotes
- There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, 'Good morning, God'’ and the other is to say, 'Good God, morning!' Fulton J. Sheen
- The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. e. e. cummings
A good morning to you, remember to laugh this day. There is a saying, don't take life to seriously. So as you begin this day, remember to laugh during it!
- Life kisses our faces every morning. Yet, between morning and evening, she laughs at our sorrows. Kahlil Gibran
- As you ramble through life, whatever be your goal; keep your eye upon the doughnut, and not upon the hole. Irish Saying
Irish Quotes and Sayings
- Any morning the good Lord lets you open your eyes that's a day He has something for you to do. Author Unknown
- Procrastination is like stopping a train that left the station: when we procrastinate, we hold others up. Joseph R. Ferrari, Still Procrastinating
Let this day be one where you don't hold others up! Even though there are things we would prefer not to do, do them, get them done - this will give your morning a boast, and will help you to have a good day, not just today, but tomorrow also!
- My future starts when I wake up every morning . . . Miles Davis
- Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available. Jim Beggs
- Wonder what would happen if, some morning, we'd wake up and say, "Anything I can do for You today, Lord? Burton Hillis
- Getting a good start in the morning is the difference between having a mentally and physically good day and a terrible day. Sumit Gautam
Good Day Quotes
- There are no traffic jams along the extra mile. Roger Staubach
Funny but true words of wisdom for your day. Go that extra mile it will make more difference than you realize!
Quote of The Day
- You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom. Proverb
- It's how do you say "good morning" to the people along the way,
And it's how do you face your troubles whenever your skies are gray. Edgar A Guest
- It is difficult to steer a parked car, so get moving. Henrietta Mears
Good morning sleepy head! This quote is for you!
Funny Graduation Quotes
- Lose an hour in the morning and you'll be running after it all day. English Proverb
- Lost time is like a run in a stocking. It always gets worse. Anne Morrow Lindbergh
All women can relate to this saying. Use your time today efficiently, don't let it get away from you!
Top Ten Quotes on Time
- Our snooze button does not have the power to delay the sun from rising in the morning. Time simply does not wait for anyone. Ted Robbins
- Never rest on your laurels. Nothing wilts faster than a laurel sat upon. Mary Kay
Yesterday is over, and yes it may have been a great day. But don't slack off this morning, each day is an opportunity to be the best you can be!
- You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction. George Lorimer
- Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open. Thomas Dewar
Get up and get at it! Keep your mind open to the possibilites that this day will bring.
- Rest but never quit. Even the sun has a sinking spell each evening. But it always rises the next morning. Muhammad Ali
- Please stop waiting for a map. We reward those who draw maps, not those who follow them. Seth Godin, Poke the Box
Good morning and what are your goals for the day? Don't wait for someone else to set them, set your own, and achieve them. And then tomorrow morning wake up and do the same!
- Hope is a renewable option: If you run out of it at the end of the day, you get to start over in the morning. Barbara Kingsolver
- Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven't planted. David Bly
Wishing and dreaming will never bring success. Take action and move towards the goals you want to accomplish.
- We would wake up every morning excited for the day rather than feeling as though we'd been hit by a truck during the night. Meg Meeker Md
- Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." Thomas A. Edison
Thomas Edison said this many years ago but it still holds wisdom for each of us. You don't get anything for nothing, you got to work for it each and every day.
- Until God opens the next door, praise Him in the hallway. Nicky Gumbel
Quotes about God
- You wake up in the morning and lo! Your purse is magically filled with twenty-four hours of the unmanufactured tissue of the universe of your life. It is yours. Arnold Bennett
Positive Life Quotes
- What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Do you talk about what you are going to do, or do you spend hours thinking about what you are going to do? Get up and start doing rather than just talking and thinking. What may seem impossible becomes possible when you start doing!
Actions Speak Louder Than Words Quotes
- You don't get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour. Jim Rohn
To many times we think about how much we are paid by the hour. Want an increase in your salary - if you bring value to every hour you work you will find your salary will go up.
Funny Work Quotes
- Imagine what we would achieve if we had the spiders' determination? Elles Lohuis, The Little Guide to Setting Intentions
- Make sure you're a joy to be around and not the one actually causing the problem. Kala Stevenson, Monday Mornings
- Good intentions are not enough. You cannot tape the cracks of a sinking boat. Robin Low, Good Intentions Are Not Enough
A great quote to keep with you this morning. Well intentions may be good, actually doing is better.
- I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true." Mark Twain
Don't let worry ruin your day. Many times as Mark Twain says, what we worry about does not happen. Have a great morning, take one thing at a time, don't worry.
- The morning is wiser than the evening. Czech Proverb
- You can overcome anything if you don't bellyache. Bernard M. Baruch
- Early morning is the best time to dream, to think, and to clear your mind. The rest of the day is filled with obligations that slowly leech away your brain power, energy, and focus. Samantha Westwood, Rise and Shine!
- Every morning you have two choices: continue to sleep with your dreams or wake up and chase them. Daniel Milstein, Rule #1, Don't Be #2
- Either you run the day or the day runs you. Jim Rohn
Short Inspirational Quotes
- You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there. Yogi Berra
Words of Encouragement
Grab some coffee and get a load of these funny good morning quotes. You’ll get the impression that there’s no such thing as a morning person no matter how smart or successful you are. Everyone has a hard time getting started at 8 am. Don’t feel like you’re alone.
1. Phil Dunphy on Sunrises.
“Everyone should experience a sunrise at least once a day.” – Phil Dunphy
Where better to start our day than with America’s favorite new dad? Phil Dunphy from the series Modern Family has a way with obvious words. Every day does indeed start with a sunrise, and that’s the way every morning should start.
2. Richard Whately on Losing an Hour.
“Lose an hour in the morning and you will spend all day looking for it.” – Richard Whately
Perhaps a bit more inspirational than most in our list, Whately inspires us to get going. If you lose time now, you might be behind all day. Keep that in mind while you put things off in the morning.
3. Glen Cook on Wonderful Mornings.
“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” – Glen Cook
I think we can all relate to Glen Cook here. We could all be morning people if morning would just sleep in an extra 10 or 110 minutes. The only way any of us manage to get up anymore is the alarm clock.
4. Jarod Kintz on Dreaming.
“I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.” – Jarod Kintz
I think we can all relate to the sound of an alarm clock being a part of a dream. The worst is not waking up from a fake alarm that was only a dream. The worst is actually when your actual alarm becomes some part of your bank robbery dream and you sleep right through. Good luck explaining that to the boss.
5. Fulton J. Sheen on 2 Ways to Wake Up.
“There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, ‘Good morning, God,’ and the other is to say, ‘Good God, morning’!” – Fulton J. Sheen
I believe that most of us fall into this second category of people. Most mornings bring with them the reminders of work and and other responsibilities. Most of us would settle for just a few hours sleep, and so we begin the bargaining.
6. Rachel Caine on Afternoons.
“Afternoons are hard. Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.” – Rachel Caine
Mornings are from hell. That’d be so nice if we could all start our day at our leisure. Who came up with this whole working 40 hours a week thing anyway? The French are really onto something with this 30 hour work week.
7. Mitch Hedburg Considers a Beret.
“Sometimes I wake up and think I should start wearing a beret, but I don’t do it.” – Mitch Hedburg
Those early morning thoughts are the best. We begin to talk ourselves into the craziest things. There’s also that argument we have with ourselves about calling out for the day. Do we have the hours? Is this really worth using our hours?
8. Robert Frost on the Brain.
“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” – Robert Frost
The truth is that most of us have our best thoughts early in the morning. They aren’t always about wearing berets. Sometimes we can even stop and smell the roses. By the time we walk into the office, our mind has left the building.
9. Bob Dole on Feeling Older.
“You feel a little older in the morning. By noon I feel about 55.” – Bob Dole
Bob Dole made this observation well into his 60s. By the time afternoon rolls around, most of us feel that we could run a marathon. Anything would be better than facing those wee morning hours and the rush hour traffic.
10. Benjamin Franklin on Obituaries.
“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” – Benjamin Franklin
While it might be odd to actually end up reading your own obituary, it’s a great way to gauge your approach to the day. Unfortunately, the statistics are in and 0% of people have ever read their own obituary in the morning paper.
11. Groucho Marx Once Shot an Elephant.
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.” – Groucho Marx
Groucho was a master at turning a phrase and exploiting dangling modifiers. This image makes people laugh almost a hundred years later. Just imagine an elephant squeezing into some striped pajamas with a little stocking cap on his head.
12. Robert Orben Wants to Be Rich.
“Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
This morning ritual seems more logical but it’s even more unrealistic in America. With the richest 1% an ever shrinking list, the reality of becoming a newcomer is more unlikely than reading your own obituary.
13. Mark Twain on the Most Important Meal of the Day.
“If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.” – Mark Twain
Another day, another dollar. When you have to figuratively eat the frog, eat the biggest one first. Great advice from the father of American Literature. If you start with the biggest problem you’ve got, the day goes smoother.
14. Mark Twain Tells His Secret.
“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain
It’s tough to get started when you feel like you’re eating a frog. The fact of the matter is that you have to get started despite how hard it is to take the first step. Just know that every step you take gets you closer to 5pm (or whatever quitting time might be).
15. Lewis Black on Coffee’s Side Effects.
“I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” – Lewis Black
Coffee is the most widely used drug in the world. It’s classified as a beverage but with all the hallucinating it provides and the dependencies we develop, it should definitely be classified as a drug. Are you feeling awake yet?
16. T. S. Eliot on Coffee Spoons.
“I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.” – T. S. Eliot
Many of us can say this same thing, especially if you’re caught in the cycle of work, eat, sleep. If life can be measured so frivolously, we have to take a step back and realize that it can’t be taken all too seriously.
17. Ursula Le Guin on Mornings Arrival.
“Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.” – Ursula K. Le Guin
The alarm clock only signals us. Morning is going to come whether we decide to participate or not. Plus, even if you sleep in a little later, you are just delaying that inevitable wake up morning that we all dread.
18. Willie Geist’s Morning Routine.
“My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me, take a quick shower, get dressed in the dark and bolt out the door.” – Willie Geist
Everyone survives years of being a young adult by embracing this morning routine. We all remember the time we didn’t brush our hair, the time we had a shirt on inside out, or the numerous times we wore mismatched socks.
19. Catherynne Valente on Morning Battles.
“Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield.” – Catherynne M. Valente
The snooze button is without a doubt our only defense against morning. Even the most expensive blackout drapes can’t stop the sun from eventually peeking through and pulling us out of bed and reluctantly onto our feet.
20. Picasso on Work.
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.” – Pablo Picasso
Why did we invent the alarm clock? That is one of those impossible questions like the chicken and the egg. Which came first: The early morning work schedule for a 40 hour week or the introduction of the alarm clock.
21. Edward Packard on Lawyers.
“The lawyer’s first thought in the morning is how to handle the case of the ringing alarm clock.” – Edward Packard, Jr.
It’s never too early to make fun of lawyers. With lawyers always looking for ways to exploit everything under the sun to squeeze yet another nickel out of it, it’s no doubt they contemplate the various levels of litigation in the alarm clock.
22. Jackie Chan Talk Coffee.
“Coffee is a language in itself.” – Jackie Chan
The best part of waking up is having a warm mug of java. It’s important to enjoy that coffee. Trying to face the day without that first and supremely important conversation is like trying to enter the Kentucky Derby on a donkey.
23. David Lynch on Bad Coffee.
“Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.” – David Lynch
That says it all. It’s better to suffer with whatever garbage brown water you can get your hands on than to suffer through the first few hours with no caffeine in your system. Choke down the awful stuff if you must. Don’t go to battle alone.
24. James Marsden on Waking Up.
“Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.” – James Marsden
When I was young, I jumped out of bed with excitement in my life. I can’t remember the last time I woke up like that. I think most days we all wake up with thoughts of how comfortable the bed will be later that night. Only 16 hours before I can lay back down…
25. Jeannette Winterson on Hurting.
“Do you wake up as I do, having forgotten what it is that hurts or where, until you move?” – Jeanette Winterson
As we get older, it’s impossible to wake up and find that spring in your step. In your 20s, you have no idea that things can hurt. In your 30s, you already see the downward slope. When things are stiff, it’s even harder to get out of bed.
26. Jarod Kintz on the Daily Grind.
“I’m about to get my grind on. My coffee grind. LIke a true hustler.” – Jarod Kintz
Everybody likes to think of themselves as a real badass. The reality is that we are all more likely to get our grinding done in the kitchen than we are in the clubs. The only hustling we get done is that rush to get out the door before we miss the perfect traffic window.
27. Anthony Liccione Still Isn’t Ready.
“No! I’m not ready, this is still my first cup of coffee!” – Anthony Liccione
We can all relate to needing just 5 more minutes and one more cup of coffee before we really get anything productive done. After all, when was the last time you saw a crucial email with the timestamp of 8:01?
Read this next:
46 Good Morning Quotes to Inspire and Motivate You
55 Funny Quotes and Sayings to Brighten Your Life
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